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25 Hilarious Tweets from the Most Honest Toddler You’ve Never Met

Honest Toddler

Truth

Your toddler already probably says things like, “Mama,” “Dada” and “Uh Oh.” But one toddler out there says more, and says it on Twitter.

@HonestToddler might be the funniest person you’ve never met — toddler or otherwise. Unless you’re the parent of a toddler, in which case @HonestToddler is also the Greek Chorus you never knew you needed in your life.

Here are some of the most recent, side-splitting, laugh-your-ass-off funniest tweets from @HonestToddler (along with a parental response):

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    Well, when you put it like that . . .
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    Whoops. Busted.
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    It doesn't have limits, but it does need to get back downstairs at some point to wash the dinner dishes.
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    But if we do that, all of a sudden Child Protective Services is suddenly on our doorstep.
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    And you get an A+ in that.
    Congrats.
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    *Rolls eyes*
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    Oh, you've cried enough today, alright.
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    Fair enough.
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    But you just don't understand.
    However, we can't quite explain it, either.
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    Who doesn't love a fully clothed, soaking-wet toddler?
    Oh, right.
    Everyone.
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    Yes.
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    Is that your excuse?
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    Agreed.
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    Good question. Next time: You stay home alone. You're old enough now.
    After you, you have a freakin' Twitter account.
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    Come again?
    On second thought, don't.
    Please.
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    You go right ahead and do that. Let's just hope the pajamas don't magically disappear.
    Forever.
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    Yup.
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    Let's talk.
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    Oh, it means something, alright.
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    Yeah, somehow this is our fault.
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    Sometimes there are no words.
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    *Rolls eyes*
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    No, thank you.
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    Or maybe, just maybe, when you start vomiting lotion?
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    Good luck with that.

All tweets from Twitter.com/HonestToddler

More from Meredith on Toddler Times:

Read (even) more from Meredith at Babble’s Strollerderby, follow her on Twitter, and check out her weekly syndicated newspaper column at MeredithCarroll.com

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